A lost sock obituary Sir Argyle
2019 – 2024
Est. 2019. Last seen March 14, 2024.
- Cotton, argyle, one of three
- Submitted by R. in Leeds
Sir Argyle came home in a three-pack in the spring of 2019 and distinguished himself immediately. His brothers were perfectly good socks. He was the one who got picked for job interviews.
He survived four moves, one dog, and a hot wash that took two of his brothers. The dog was a spaniel called Biscuit, who carried him around the garden for most of 2021 and gave him back with nothing worse than a loose cuff. The hot wash was nobody's fault, although R. has views about who set the dial.
On an ordinary Thursday in March 2024 he went into the dryer and did not emerge. The machine was emptied twice and the drum turned by hand. Nothing was found behind the seal. On the Saturday R. fetched a flashlight, which found a hair tie and a 2p coin.
His partner remains in the drawer, folded, waiting.
Survived by
His partner, and whatever is left of the three-pack. Nobody has counted since the hot wash, and nobody intends to.
Arrangements
There will be no service. The household no longer runs the dryer on Thursdays, which R. accepts makes no sense.
In lieu of flowers, please check the door seal on your own machine. It takes a minute, and Biscuit has offered to help.